Small Human had once again left his guidebook to prehistoric animals open to the Feliforms page. Intrigued as usual about his forebears, Linus went over to read, when suddenly he noticed that Small Human’s toy DeLorean was blinking. “I didn’t know that toy blinked,” said Linus as he touched it with his paw.
WHAP! Linus found himself streaking through the air! WHUMPF! The toy car unceremoniously dumped him onto a warm grassland. Linus thought he recognized a rock outcropping as the one he could see through the living room windows, but the house was nowhere to be seen. He looked down and saw that his little white paws were now brown and huge, and he felt two strange objects on either side of his chin. He wiped his face with a paw and felt: fangs! “I’m a saber-toothed cat!” Linus realized with a thrill. “Not sure what the car had to do with it, but now I can finally get those deer! Hooooooowaaaaaarrrrrrh!”
With a bone-rattling roar, Linus bounded towards the small herd of deer that was leisurely browsing on bushes near what would have been the end of the backyard. “I know I’m supposed to be an ambush predator, but this is too much fun! Roooooarrrh!” The deer scattered, but Linus noticed one that ran just the slightest bit more slowly than the others. His ears and eyes locked on to the target.
As Linus ran, the seamless rhythm of his bounding legs and the flow of Pleistocene air through his nostrils made him feel like time was standing still. All he knew was the hunt, and the surety that this deer would be his, that his pride would eat well tonight. The deer
zigzagged in a futile attempt to throw him off its path; Linus effortlessly changed direction along with the deer, each leap bringing him closer. With a mighty push of his hind legs, he soared and brought his powerful front legs down on the deer’s shoulders, knocking them both to the ground. He sank his jaws around its throat, his long saber teeth giving him an unshakable hold on the deer’s flesh as it thrashed its life away.
Linus turned, panting, surveying the now quiet veldt around him. He turned to haul the deer back to his waiting family. He noticed a small blinking object near his paw. Annoyed, he batted it away. WHAP! “Nooooo! My delicious deer!!!!!” roared Linus as he felt himself streaking through time again.
“Are you fantasizing about catching those deer again, Linus?” chuckled Cookies from the red couch. Linus looked and between his small white paws was a roll of sea-green yarn.
“But, I was there!” Linus gasped. “I had it in my saber teeth!”
“I know you did,” said Cookies gently. “Believe me, I know.” In the living room corner blinked the toy silver DeLorean.